Dr. Akridge Speaks

Since when did speaking up for the truth or emphasizing basic respect, consideration, and accountability become oppositional? When did naming what has become increasingly evident, namely that we are living in a society growing more selfish, dismissive, and entitled, get rebranded not as concern but as hostility?

Although the answer is uncomfortable, it is pretty clear that labeling truth as anger is a tactic to silence those willing to speak honestly about disrespect and moral decline.

If we are honest, calling people “angry” when they speak uncomfortable truths is one of the oldest paths to deflection, which allows individuals to avoid examining their own behavior or their quiet tolerance of the behavior of others. Rather than engaging the message, the deflectors’ goal is to discredit the messenger, which is both immature and evasive. In other words, the attitude is, “I do not want to face what is being said, so I will attack how it is said.”

Passion is not rage. Concern is not aggression, nor is truth-telling condemnation.

Not Anger, but Standards

Those who value truth understand that the real issue is rarely tone. The real problem is accountability. However, by today’s standards, the moment someone challenges this generation’s increasing acceptance and celebration of disregard and entitlement, offense is often taken when the critique is accurate.

What we are seeing in our society is the gradual wearing away of social decorum, with basic politeness, which was once assumed, now optional. Respect for others, once taught in homes, schools, and churches, is now questioned, labeled as old-fashioned, unnecessary, or dismissed. Moreover, indifference is defended as authenticity, while selfishness is glamorized as self-care. Somewhere along the way, civility was traded for vulgarity, and consideration for others was deemed needless, and when someone dares to point this out, the response is rarely reflection. Instead, truth tellers are met with resistance.

Statements like “I never knew someone could be so angry,” “How dare you challenge me,” or “Who do you think you are” surface quickly. However, if we are to be honest, the reaction reveals more about the listener than the speaker.

The question we should be asking is simple. Since when did expecting decency become controversial?

Everyday Evidence of Decline

Signs of declining etiquette are everywhere, and appear in the silence where a greeting once lived, in tone, posture, and language. They show up when customer service representatives call homes and immediately use first names, offering no introduction or context. What happened to “Good morning, Mrs. Smith”? What happened to “May I speak with Mr. Jones, please”? These were not just scripts. They were signals of professional respect, and the shift is not insignificant. It reflects a broader cultural message that propriety no longer matters and that informality is the default, whether invited or not. The rejection of basic social and interpersonal etiquette sits at the center of much of what we are witnessing. Our culture is not simply lacking in manners; it’s lacking in mindfulness, and, sadly, many seem proud of it.

Tone Policing as a Shield

When someone finally speaks up about the moral decline and disregard for others we are seeing in our culture, and calls for better, they are now being met with the most intellectually lazy response of all. “You’re angry.” And the ones speaking such nonsense speak as though emotion somehow invalidates truth, and any passion behind the words is more offensive than the behavior being described.

But perhaps we should be angry. Maybe we should feel something when we watch society drift further from mutual respect. Imagine paying thousands of dollars to a company, answering your phone on a quiet day, and being greeted with, “Uh, Fred.” Those most offended by objections to such disrespect are often the same ones who excuse it or participate in it.

Labeling truth as anger is a form of tone policing used to avoid self-examination and a refusal to confront what the message reveals about personal behavior, tolerance, or complicity. Reducing insight to emotion is not ethical, but deflective, and it undermines growth.

The Entitled Mindset

We now live in a society where many feel entitled to say anything, at any time, without consequences, and enter others’ time, space, and attention without invitation. When boundaries are set or respect is requested, the reaction is to label the other person as difficult or hostile.

A decent society cannot be built on entitlement, nor can workplaces, families, and communities thrive if no one is willing to say, “That was not appropriate,” or “We need to do better.” Selfishness must be challenged, even when it has become normalized or when those who benefit from it are the loudest voices in the room.

Not Perfection, but Propriety

This is not a call for perfection, but rather responsibility. We should be willing to examine how our words, tone, and actions affect others, and desire to learn and grow rather than retreat into defensiveness. Emotional integrity matters!

Respect is not demonstrated only toward those we admire. It is revealed in how we speak to everyone. It shows up in how we respond to correction, how we greet strangers, how we acknowledge elders, neighbors, and those who hold earned roles and titles. Respect lives in tone, timing, language, and even restraint.

When someone calls us to a higher standard, the appropriate response is not dismissal through labeling. It is listening, reflection, and growth.

Our culture is rapidly shifting away from decorum and toward indecency.  However, it is a choice.

So to those who speak truth, speak it clearly and without apology. If you are calling people to do better, continue to do so. Do not allow the discomfort of those who resist accountability to silence conviction. Awareness and passion are not signs of anger. Concern is not hostility. Calling attention to what others refuse to confront is not weakness. It is courage. Stay strong, be courageous, and speak truth.